I did an Instagram post on New Year urging elimination before goal setting and I wanted to share more about that. In some ways, it’s very simple. Most people, however, miss this step when trying to conjure something new in their lives. You need space before anything new can come. The first step to achieving your goals or manifesting your dreams is getting rid of something else.
Categories to consider eliminating from include:
- Thoughts / thought patterns / emotional crutches
- Physical items / Clutter
- Unnecessary activities
- Draining / Unhealthy relationships
- Old, no longer useful rituals/practices
Once you decide which category you want to start with asking yourself these questions:
- What is unnecessary in this category?
- What is bringing me down or distracting me from my deeper purpose?
- What if I chose to let go of it would make significant room in my life / open things up?
- What am I holding on to because it helped me so much in the past, not because it’s helping me now?
Pick one manageable but impactful thing to release based on your answers to these questions and write it down.
Now you are ready to do the work.
To release an unwanted element in your life:
- Identify how that element has been serving you. There is some way it has!
- Thank it for what it’s done for you.
- Recognize both the payoff you’ve been receiving for holding onto it even though it’s no longer serving and the payoff you will get for letting it go.
- Get clear on what will replace the element you are eliminating. (That vacuum will be filled by something, so choose for yourself before it’s chosen for you.)
- Make a plan for slowly replacing the element you release with the newness you are summoning.
- Expect setbacks. Greet them with compassion and understand. Make your agreements to self small and doable to reinforce your self-belief and ability to change.
Want to go more deeply into resolution and long-lasting change? Grab your copy of My Bliss Book now from my site or Amazon and enter your email for the special My Bliss Book coaching program. My Bliss Bookers will be the first to receive the link for my FREE webinar February 1st 12 pm on the 5 Simple Things You Can Do this Year to Make Your Resolutions Last.
2018 is coming to a close and many of you are building your to do/ to improve lists for 2019. Studies show these long lists of resolutions have an 80% failure rate by mid-February. Never mind who makes it to March or June. So why keep banging your head against the same resolution road bump? Skip all the mess and heartbreak with one important undertaking.
Commit to building your resilience in 2019.
Work on nothing else.
When you develop this Master quality, you won’t need to work on your big self-improvement list. This will cover it all.
What does it mean to be resilient?
Being resilient means being able to bounce back from any set back quickly and effectively. It’s the number one characteristic you need to kick those “bad habits” long term.
How do I become more resilient?
- Honor your process. Resist the urge to compare your knowledge or progress with anyone else’s. It doesn’t matter where you are, as long as you keep moving forward with persistence. Assess what’s working and refining what’s not. Know that not everyone takes the same road to learn a new skill and work on being at peace with your own unique way of processing.
- Face your fears. Instead of hiding from and avoiding fears this year, make the commitment to facing them dead on. The more you can show up to uncomfortable situations with an open heart and mind, honesty and courage, the more resilient you will become. You will experience first hand that you can bounce back from mistakes stronger than ever.
- Dump negative self-talk. Nip out this nasty habit now by noticing the harmful things you say to yourself and replacing them with a positive mantra. There is absolutely no proof that self-criticism will make you perform any better in the future, so just don’t do it. If you feel resistance against a positive affirmation, change it to something you can believe in fully. For instance, if saying to yourself, “I am smart” leaves you thinking, “No, I’m not” replace it with “I am growing smarter every day”.
- Change the narrative. Overall we’ve become way too sensitive and protected. This is preventing us from taking feedback. Flip the notion that negative feedback means you are a bad person. Your value is not in how you perform. Once you realize that, you will be able to take the feedback and use it to learn and grow without taking it as a personal attack on you as a person.
- Practice self-compassion. Remember to treat your sweet self the way you’d treat a dear friend or relative. Resilience isn’t built by powering through, but by having more understanding and compassion toward self. The more quickly and tenderly you can forgive your errors the more powerfully you can move forward making better and better choices.
- Live to learn. Treat everything you do in life as an experiment. Keep an open mind. Look to learn and improve rather than to be perfect and right. Once you dump perfectionism you’ll be free to try new approaches. This actually leads to better results. The cautiousness of perfectionism is a dark trap that is holding you back from greater success than you currently know.
- Remember your comebacks. When you’re feeling beat down and having a hard time with resilience, this is practice to lean on. Think back to another time you were feeling low about yourself and remember that you were able to turn it around. Let the energy, memory, and lessons of that comeback fuel your next one!
Now it’s your turn! Comment here and let me know which of these resilience building strategies you’ll be using in 2019 or share your own! I’m going to go deeper into these concepts and 5 other key tactics
for keeping your resolutions in a FREE webinar February 1st. I’ll also be answering any burning questions at that event. Grab your copy of My Bliss Book
for your access CODE
Procrastination is a tricky issue for even the best of us. Here are some ways to conquer the avoidance habit and get ahead of the game:
- Get an accountability buddy. There is nothing like having someone there checking in on you to make sure you get things done on time. Choose that friend you can really count on to hold you to your word and not to let you slide or get away with your regular excuses. Set frequent in-person check-ins so you can’t hide.
- Set yourself urgent “Due By” dates. Remember the pressure of turning a school report in. Create that urgency by setting yourself a strict submit by date. Put reminders in your phone that you can’t ignore.
- Post your plans. There’s nothing like a big public promise to put some fire under you. I remember before I even signed the lease for Land Yoga announcing that I was opening a yoga studio in that spot. That’s a little risky, but hey, it worked! I recently announced a Land Yoga fix up by our anniversary date. I posted it everywhere. I wasn’t sure we would get it done in time, but we did. Our contractor felt the pressure of that public announcement as well. Nothing like putting yourself out there. The community feels involved and you won’t believe the lengths they will go to to help you.
- Set small intermediary goals on your way to your main goal. Every project can be broken down into smaller, less scary steps that will help you to ease your fear and get started. Say for instance, if you are working on a book. That’s a huge undertaking. If you say you are going to write a book by next year, when you sit down to write you’ll likely stare at the blank screen overwhelmed. Instead, break the task down into smaller goals and set deadlines on those. Make your chapter breakdown due tomorrow. That will get you moving!
- Start working now. Make a rule that you can never say, “I’ll start this tomorrow.” Tomorrow never comes. Instead do one small thing right now. Even the smallest action sets in motion future actions. When you are really stuck, find the minimum action you can do to move you forward. Then do it.
Here are some other tips.
Make sure you set a challenging but realistic date to accomplish your goal. If your goal is too far away you will have no motivation. Go back to #4 and make a sub-goal with a close deadline to focus on. Don’t make your goal unrealistically close either. You’ll know inside that it can’t be done and so you won’t even really try. You want to set yourself up for success. Too many failures teach the subconscious that we aren’t serious about keeping our word to ourselves.
Finally…I know there are a lot of you who believe you do your best work last minute under pressure, but this is not a sustainable method for growth. If that’s your style, it will get you far, but only so far. Eventually, lack of planning leads to reactive instead of strategic behavior. One day when you have a team to manage the whole operation will fall apart. Train yourself now in the habits that you will need for your future self! That’s how we grow!
Like this blog? Share it with a friend who could use it. Which strategy from above are you going to use to break the procrastination habit today? Write it in the comments below. Do you other strategies you use to combat procrastination? Share them in the comments below as well. Wishing you got your Bliss Book planner? Follow me at @laralandyoga for the full launch fall announcement and come to visit me at my last pop-up of the summer Sunday, July 15th at Red Rooster Harlem 10a-4p.
Jump start your manifestation today!
Want something badly and can’t wait to see it materialize, use these three practices which go all the way back to the Yoga Sutras circa 400 CE.
- Energize your desire. I know you think you could not want this thing more. Maybe you think about it day and night, anguishing over how to make it happen, boring your friends with constant obsession. The truth is this kind of wanting will fluctuate in time until you may even doubt you want it at all. That is unless you figure out WHY you want what you want.The greater and more world benefiting the WHY, the more likely you are to realize your desire. Each time you think of giving up, you’ll remember your purpose, the people who will benefit from your success, and you won’t be able to do anything but keep going.
Warning: Do not try to trick the Universe! The Universe knows everything. A WHY can be selfish even if the project is a charitable one. If you’re not really tapped into the feelings of suffering your offering alleviates, stop everything and go listen with an open heart to those who will benefit from the manifestation of your desire. Maybe the one who will benefit is you. WHY is this the way to heal your wound for eternity?
- Determine correct action. This comes from study. Knowing what actions to take is not a simple task. It is much like physics. First, you must understand yourself, your field, your audience, and your resources before you know which and precisely how many actions to take. Without making the time to study, you risk a myriad of misguided efforts that could result in your not achieving your desire and even in your moving further away from it. Take time to get to know yourself and the people and situations around you. Study yourself and others like there’s going to be a test. Keep notes on the results of different actions. Look for all the things you could have missed. Most of all, do not be afraid to slow down and do the prep work. When you pause to study and test you not only save yourself from future backpedaling but when you do decide to act, your actions have maximum impact. They are designed that way.
- Have a little faith. The opposite of doubt which often acts as a riptide pulling us under, faith is the buoy which holds us up. When we walk in it we stand taller, breathe deeper, and smile more freely. In short, we relax. In this relaxed state, we both attract more opportunities to us and are more able to see the possibilities that were always in view. Faith is the mother who brushes us off when we haven’t succeeded and reminds us manifestation occurs in Divine time, and that often when we don’t get what we want it’s because something better is on its way. Trust in her and keep her with you in every manifestation journey.
Do you have other manifestation tips? Write to me here in the comments.
Think this formula could help someone you know? Share this with them.
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