AUTHOR OF MY BLISS BOOK & THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO TRAUMA SENSITIVE YOGA

Lara Land New Logo 2022

AUTHOR OF MY BLISS BOOK &
THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO TRAUMA SENSITIVE YOGA

Lara Land New Logo 2022
Think Better: CBT Strategies to Rewire Negative Thoughts and Reduce Anxiety

Think Better: CBT Strategies to Rewire Negative Thoughts and Reduce Anxiety

by | Sep 1, 2025 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT

In this week’s episode of Beyond Trauma, I had the pleasure of sitting down with psychotherapist Carly Ann to explore the powerful principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)—and how we can all use them to break free from the mental loops that keep us anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck.

Whether you’re navigating anxiety, low self-worth, perfectionism, or the emotional fallout of trauma, CBT offers real, research-backed tools for reclaiming your thoughts and calming your nervous system.

“It’s not about asking: Can I stop having these thoughts? It’s about asking: Can I stop feeding them?” — Carly Ann

Here’s a breakdown of what we covered, plus additional insights and resources you can use to deepen your healing.

What is CBT—and Why Does It Work?

CBT is a short-term, evidence-based approach to mental health that focuses on identifying and challenging negative automatic thoughts (NATs) and replacing them with more balanced, helpful thinking.

Research consistently shows CBT’s effectiveness in treating anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, and even chronic pain and insomnia. The American Psychological Association recognizes CBT as one of the most effective tools for managing trauma-related symptoms.

Common Cognitive Distortions: Are These Running Your Life?

Carly and I explored the mental patterns that often fuel anxiety and low self-worth. These include:

  • Catastrophizing – assuming the worst will happen
  • Black-and-white thinking – seeing everything as all good or all bad
  • Should/Must statements – rigid rules that often lead to guilt and frustration
  • Mind reading – assuming you know what others think of you

You can see a full list of distortions here from Therapist Aid, and use them to start identifying your personal thought patterns.

How to Deal with Anxiety: Don’t Feed the Thoughts

One of the most helpful reframes Carly shared was this: You don’t have to stop your thoughts—but you can stop giving them power.

This aligns with the CBT skill of cognitive defusion, a technique also used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), where we learn to observe thoughts without becoming entangled in them.

When anxious thoughts arise, try asking:

  • Is this thought helpful?
  • Is it true—and can I prove that?
  • What would I tell a friend who had this thought?

The Thought-Feeling-Behavior Loop

In CBT, we recognize that how we think influences how we feel, and how we feel influences what we do. This is the cognitive triangle—and understanding it can help you make powerful shifts in your behavior.

For example:

  • Thought: I’m going to fail at this presentation.

  • Feeling: Anxious, inadequate.
  • Behavior: Procrastinate or avoid preparing.

By challenging the original thought, you can interrupt the whole cycle and act from a more grounded place. Tools like a CBT thought record can be a great place to start.

“Eat That Frog” and Morning Mindset

Carly and I also talked about the importance of starting your day with clarity and intention. We both love Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy—a simple yet powerful guide for overcoming procrastination by tackling your hardest task first thing in the morning.

Research suggests that the first 30 minutes of your day significantly influence your mood and productivity. Try:

  • Avoiding your phone
  • Doing a short journaling or meditation practice
  • Planning your top 3 priorities

Even small shifts can reduce anxiety and create a stronger mental foundation.

The Role of Affirmations—And When They Backfire

We also touched on positive affirmations—and the important distinction between toxic positivity and balanced thinking.

While saying “I love myself” might help some people, it can feel fake or even harmful if it’s too far from what you believe. Instead, CBT encourages neutral or balanced thoughts, such as:

  • “I’m doing the best I can right now.”
  • “It’s okay to feel anxious—this doesn’t define me.”

For more on this, check out this article on how affirmations can sometimes backfire—and what to do instead.

Are Your Needs Reasonable? And What to Do When They’re Not Met

Carly also shared how CBT can help us evaluate the expectations we place on others. We often assume people “should” know how to meet our needs—but haven’t communicated them clearly, or don’t know how to process the pain of those needs being unmet.

CBT invites us to:

  • Ask: Is my request clear and realistic?

  • Consider: Is the disappointment about this person—or about something deeper I need to grieve?

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication method can help here—focusing on needs rather than judgments or demands.

Support for Clinicians

If you’re a therapist, Carly shares insightful guidelines for using CBT with clients experiencing depression or low motivation. She emphasizes pacing, collaborative exploration, and validating the emotional reality while gently challenging unhelpful thoughts.

Final Thoughts: Think Better, Feel Better

You’re not broken for having negative thoughts. They’re part of being human. But with awareness and the right tools, you can stop letting them run the show.

If you want to go deeper, listen to the full episode with Carly Ann here. And if CBT has helped you, or you have questions about starting, I’d love to hear from you in the comments or on Instagram @laralandyoga.

Intimacy, Healing & Partnership: A Conversation with Wendy Maltz

Intimacy, Healing & Partnership: A Conversation with Wendy Maltz

by | Aug 17, 2025 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT

In this heartfelt episode of Beyond Trauma, Lara Land welcomes renowned sex therapist Wendy Maltz to explore how couples can reconnect and reclaim their bond—especially after stress, trauma, or emotional disconnection.

Whether you’re partnered or on a journey of personal healing, this conversation offers deeply compassionate guidance for cultivating conscious and connected relationships—with yourself or with someone you love.

The Quiet Ways Stress Erodes Intimacy

Stress doesn’t always show up as shouting or slammed doors. Often, it seeps in through everyday disconnection: the hurried goodbye, the missed check-in, the constant mental multitasking.

As Wendy explains, trauma survivors in particular may develop coping patterns that include emotional withdrawal, hypervigilance, or avoidance of touch and vulnerability. Over time, this can dampen intimacy—even when love remains.

“Stress creates distance. We don’t always see it, but we feel it—in our hearts, in our bodies, in our beds.” – Wendy Maltz

Creating Safety to Talk About Sex

Many couples avoid talking about sex because they don’t know how to do it without triggering discomfort or shame. Yet open, respectful dialogue is one of the most healing tools we have.

Wendy shares trauma-informed practices for initiating these conversations gently and building communication skills that encourage:

  • Curiosity instead of judgment
  • Consent and clarity instead of pressure
  • Attunement to both words and body language

These practices echo what researchers at The Gottman Institute emphasize: emotional safety is the bedrock of long-term sexual connection.

What’s Your Shared Sex Mission?

One standout tool Wendy introduces is the Sex Mission Statement—a collaborative process where partners explore what they want their sexual relationship to feel like. For example:

  • Is it playful? Sacred? Spontaneous? Healing?
  • Are there goals around exploration or rebuilding trust?
  • What boundaries and values need to be honored?

This exercise helps shift the focus from “how often” to “how meaningful”—and can be especially powerful for couples navigating the aftermath of trauma or medical challenges.

Foreplay Starts Long Before the Bedroom

Forget scented candles and perfectly timed playlists. According to Wendy, true foreplay begins with the energy we bring into the relationship throughout the day.

Do you greet your partner with warmth?
Do you show appreciation for small things?
Do you make room for tenderness even on busy days?

These everyday gestures act as emotional bids, a core concept from John Gottman’s research. Responding positively to these small connection attempts builds emotional safety in your relationship and can significantly boost intimacy and trust.

Balancing Closeness and Autonomy

Long-term partnerships thrive on two core needs: intimacy and independence. When one overtakes the other, the relationship can start to feel either suffocating or distant.

Wendy invites us to explore this balance. Healing happens not by becoming one entity, but by learning how to show up fully as ourselves—while choosing connection again and again.

Creativity as a Healing Force

Trauma can make the body and mind feel frozen. Wendy reminds us that playfulness and creativity—whether in sexual exploration, art, or movement—can reignite a sense of agency and aliveness.

Reframing sex as a space for empowered choice rather than performance or obligation is one of the most powerful shifts a trauma survivor can make. It replaces shame with curiosity, and fear with freedom.

Key Takeaways from Wendy Maltz

If you’re feeling disconnected—from your partner, your body, or your desires—this conversation is a beautiful place to start. Here are a few powerful practices to try:

  • Identify daily stressors that may be impacting intimacy
  • Create a shared sex mission statement with your partner
  • Start foreplay in the morning—with kindness, eye contact, and warmth
  • Talk openly about needs, boundaries, and desires
  • Remember: healing intimacy is a journey, not a performance

Listen to the Full Conversation

🎧 Click here to listen to the full episode on Beyond Trauma

Additional Resources

Want More?

If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe to Beyond Trauma on iTunes or Spotify, share it with someone who might need it, and explore more healing-centered episodes here. Healing happens in community—and you don’t have to do it alone.

Unlocking the Healing Power of Dreams: A Conversation with Dr. Leslie Ellis

Unlocking the Healing Power of Dreams: A Conversation with Dr. Leslie Ellis

by | Aug 3, 2025 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT

On a recent episode of Beyond Trauma, I sat down with Dr. Leslie Ellis—an expert in somatic therapy and dreamwork—to explore the incredible potential that dreams hold for emotional healing.

Dreams can feel mysterious, strange, even unsettling. But rather than brushing them off, Dr. Ellis invites us to treat them as deeply intelligent messengers from the unconscious mind.

What Dreams Are Really Trying to Tell You

Contrary to popular belief, dreams are not meaningless mental noise. Neuroscience now confirms that dreaming plays a powerful role in emotional regulation and memory processing, especially after stressful or traumatic experiences. As Dr. Ellis explained, “Dreams often bring up the very emotions we avoid during the day—they create a kind of emotional exposure therapy while we sleep.”

Rather than relying on impersonal dream dictionaries, Dr. Ellis emphasizes creating a personal symbol dictionary based on how dream imagery feels to you. This approach aligns with modern research on dream interpretation, which shows that personalized meaning is more psychologically impactful than rigid symbolism.

How to Work with Your Dreams (Even If You Don’t Remember Them)

Want to start working with your dreams? You don’t need to be a therapist or a mystic. Start by setting the intention before bed: “Tonight, I’ll remember my dreams.” This simple phrase helps train your brain to pay attention. Then, the moment you wake up—even if it’s just a single image or word—jot it down. Keeping a dream journal reinforces recall and builds insight over time.

Dr. Ellis also recommends combining this with somatic awareness: how did your body feel in the dream? Is there tension in your chest when you remember it? A sense of release? This kind of body-based approach mirrors techniques from Focusing-oriented therapy, helping access deeper emotional truths.

Nightmares Are Invitations, Not Warnings

If your dreams feel more like nightmares, you’re not alone. Many people with trauma or anxiety disorders experience intense or frightening dreams. But rather than fearing them, Dr. Ellis encourages curiosity: nightmares can actually offer a safe space to process traumatic memory, especially when done in a supported setting. Studies show that working with nightmares can reduce both their frequency and their emotional charge.

She also introduced the concept of lucid dreaming as a healing tool, particularly for trauma survivors. Becoming aware within a dream creates a sense of agency that can be powerfully reparative.

How to Create a Dream-Supportive Sleep Space

Dreamwork can’t happen without sleep—and for many of us, getting restorative rest is a challenge in itself. That’s why I take my sleep environment seriously.

First, I swear by Cozy Earth bamboo sheets. They keep me cool all night and make my bedroom feel like a sanctuary. With code LaraLand, you get 40% off their insanely comfortable sheets and pajamas.

Before bed, I mix up a cup of MoonBrew sleep cocoa. It’s packed with magnesium and adaptogens that naturally relax my nervous system and help reduce late-night cravings. Use code LaraLand30 for 30% off your first order.

Visualization, Meditation & Emotional Insight

Another major takeaway from my conversation with Dr. Ellis: guided visualization and meditation are powerful tools to explore dream content. Not only do they prime the brain for better sleep, they also help process difficult emotions that arise during dreaming.

Mindfulness-based practices have been shown to reduce nightmare frequency, improve sleep quality, and enhance emotional resilience—all essential tools in the trauma recovery toolkit.

My Sleep Essentials for Supporting Dreamwork

Here’s what my dream-supportive sleep routine looks like:

🕖 Morning

  • Wake at the same time daily (no snoozing).
  • Get natural sunlight within 30 minutes of waking—this helps regulate your circadian rhythm and boosts melatonin later at night.
  • I set intentions for the day with my Bliss Book life-purpose planner, keeping me centered and clear.

🏃 Afternoon

🌙 Evening

  • Stop eating at least two hours before bed.
  • Unwind with MoonBrew—use LaraLand30 for 30% off.
  • Dim the lights and power down screens one hour before bed.
  • Avoid heated conversations late at night. Sleep isn’t the time to hash out major decisions.

🛏️ Bedtime

  • Keep your room cool and dark—studies confirm this is crucial for quality sleep.
  • Invest in comfort. I use Cozy Earth sheets—use code LaraLand for 40% off.
  • Keep a dream journal on your nightstand and write down anything you recall when you wake.

You Deserve to Feel Rested—And Whole

Your dreams are messages, not mysteries. Whether you’re working through trauma, navigating anxiety, or simply curious about your subconscious, dreamwork can offer powerful guidance. By combining intentional sleep habits with emotional and somatic awareness, you create space for insight—and for healing.

Dr. Ellis reminded me: “You don’t have to interpret everything. Just notice, feel, and be with it. That’s where transformation begins.”

—

Listen now: Beyond Trauma — “Dreamwork, Nightmares & the Language of the Unconscious”

How to Actually Sleep: Breaking the Cycle of Stress and Sleeplessness

How to Actually Sleep: Breaking the Cycle of Stress and Sleeplessness

by | Jul 20, 2025 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT

With insights from Dr. Alex Dimitriu, double board-certified in psychiatry and sleep medicine
If you’ve ever stared at the ceiling at 3 a.m. with your mind spinning, you’re not alone.

Sleep doesn’t come easy for many of us—especially those living with anxiety, trauma, or just the relentless pace of modern life. In fact, sleep is often the first thing to go when our nervous system is overwhelmed.

On a recent episode of Beyond Trauma, I sat down with Dr. Alex Dimitriu to unpack the complex, bidirectional relationship between sleep and stress. Together, we explored how poor sleep can increase anxiety—and how anxiety, in turn, sabotages rest. But here’s the good news: healing is possible, and better sleep is a cornerstone.

Whether you struggle with insomnia, wake up too early, or want to reclaim your evenings, this post will walk you through everything Dr. Alex and I discussed—along with my personal, proven tips for getting your best sleep yet.

🌞 The Morning Matters More Than You Think

One of the most surprising takeaways from my conversation with Dr. Alex? Your wake-up time is even more important than your bedtime. “Sleep pressure” builds throughout the day—and it starts the moment you get up.

Here’s what I recommend: get outside first thing in the morning. Just five minutes of natural sunlight tells your brain that it’s time to be alert—and sets your internal clock for better sleep later.

Avoid the snooze button, even if it’s tempting. Then, take a moment to set your intentions for the day. I use My Bliss Book—it’s how I stay grounded in what matters, which reduces stress and helps my mind wind down more easily at night.

☕ Coffee, Cortisol, and the Afternoon Slump

When it comes to coffee, timing is everything. Dr. Alex advises no caffeine after noon—and 11 a.m. if you tend to go to bed early. That post-lunch latte might seem harmless, but caffeine can stay in your system for 6–8 hours, disrupting your ability to fall and stay asleep.

Movement is also crucial. “Sleep is earned,” Dr. Alex told me, and that means building sleep pressure throughout your day. Whether it’s a walk, dance break, or yoga session, getting at least 30 minutes of activity helps your body crave rest by evening.

🌙 The Power of a Gentle Wind-Down

Too many of us try to go from 100 to 0—scrolling until our eyes blur, then wondering why we can’t fall asleep. But sleep doesn’t work that way.

Dr. Alex recommends creating a “slow-down runway” for your brain. I call it evening discipline—and here’s what mine looks like:

  • Stop eating two hours before bed. Instead, curb cravings with a mug of MoonBrew hot cocoa, a magnesium-based drink designed to naturally relax the nervous system. (Use code LaraLand30 for 30% off your first order!)
  • Dim the lights and ditch screens at least one hour before sleep. Blue light delays melatonin release.
  • Avoid heavy emotional conversations at night. Your mind needs calm, not conflict.

This kind of gentle ritual tells your body: “It’s safe now. You can rest.”

🛌 Create a Sleep Sanctuary

Your bedroom should feel like a spa, not a stress zone. Dr. Alex emphasized that coolness and darkness are among the most important environmental factors for quality sleep. Studies back this up.

After years of trying different bedding, I finally found the sheets that help me sleep deeply: Cozy Earth. Their bamboo fabric keeps me cool all night, and honestly, they feel like sleeping on a cloud. Use code LaraLand for 40% off their sheets and pajamas. You will not regret it.

🧠 Sleep, Trauma, and the Nervous System

We also dove deep into how trauma and PTSD affect sleep. Dr. Alex calls it “battlefield sleep”—where the nervous system is still on alert, even in rest. That’s why trauma survivors may experience vivid nightmares, frequent wake-ups, or difficulty falling asleep. Here’s what science says.

Here’s what helps:

  • Meditation: A regular practice helps train the body to feel safe and grounded. Research supports it.
  • Visualization: Mentally walking through a calming scene or memory can help transition from alertness to rest.
  • Sleep hygiene: Having the same wind-down each night builds trust and consistency in the body.

If you’re still struggling, Dr. Alex says it’s worth discussing medication with a professional. For treatment-resistant depression or trauma, ketamine therapy may be a powerful option—it’s fast-acting and has shown promise in restoring sleep in some patients.

🗺 Final Thoughts: Rest is Not a Luxury

Too many people think of sleep as optional. But in reality, your mental clarity, mood, decision-making, and healing capacity all depend on how well you sleep.

Here’s the truth: when you prioritize rest, you’re not being indulgent. You’re rebuilding your nervous system. And the effects ripple out into every area of your life.

Lara’s Essential Sleep Routine (Summarized)

Morning:

  • Wake at the same time daily (no snooze!).
  • Stand outside for 5 minutes of sunlight.
  • Set intentions with My Bliss Book.

Afternoon:

  • Move for 30+ minutes.
  • No caffeine after 12 p.m. (11 a.m. if you’re an early sleeper).

Evening:

  • No food two hours before bed.
  • Drink MoonBrew with code LaraLand30.
  • Dim lights, turn off screens one hour before sleep.
  • Avoid stress or conflict before bed.

Bedtime:

  • Make your bed a sanctuary.
  • Use Cozy Earth sheets with code LaraLand for 40% off.
  • Keep it cool and dark.
  • Use meditation or visualization to transition.

If this post helped you, share it with someone who needs to sleep better—and subscribe to the Beyond Trauma podcast for more expert insights.

Sweet dreams,
Lara 💜

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The Science of Kindness and Health

The Science of Kindness and Health

by | May 25, 2025 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Harding’s research highlights several key areas where kindness and social connection measurably improve health outcomes:

  • Lower risk of heart disease: Supportive relationships have been linked to reduced blood pressure and inflammation.
  • Improved immune response: Acts of kindness and emotional warmth can actually boost immune function.
  • Decreased chronic stress: Kindness mitigates the stress response, reducing cortisol levels and protecting against burnout and anxiety.
  • Better outcomes in chronic illness: Patients with strong social bonds fare better with conditions like diabetes, cancer, and depression.

These findings are echoed in peer-reviewed studies on the social determinants of health, now recognized as central to public health frameworks worldwide. Read more in this National Institutes of Health overview.

🌍 Kindness Is Contagious—and Powerful

Harding’s work reminds us that healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Every interaction—with healthcare providers, loved ones, or strangers—has the potential to either harm or heal.

In healthcare settings, she advocates for policies that prioritize compassionate care, noting that patients treated with empathy have better adherence to treatment, fewer complications, and greater trust in medical institutions. And outside the clinic? Simple, everyday acts—smiling, listening, offering help—can ripple outward in powerful ways.

Want to integrate more kindness into your life? Explore this Greater Good Science Center resource on practical ways to live more compassionately.

🎙️ Listen to Dr. Kelli Harding on Beyond Trauma

We’re honored to welcome Dr. Harding to the Beyond Trauma podcast, where she shares:

  • Her personal journey into this groundbreaking work
  • The hidden ways trauma and isolation affect the body
  • How kindness can be cultivated—even in a divided world
  • What she believes is the future of healthcare

👉 Listen to the full episode here and discover why kindness isn’t just a virtue—it’s a prescription for better health