I’ve always felt the autumnal equinox deeply in my bones — that shift in light, the subtle exhale of summer, and a gathering inwards: of what I’ve built, what I’ve sown, what I need to release

This year feels especially potent. As I prepare to launch my practice as a psychotherapist, beginning to take clients this autumn, I sense the urgency of finishing things, of putting pieces in place, of feeling the last sweet fullness of this year before the colder months.

2025 numerologically sums to 9 (2 + 0 + 2 + 5 = 9), which in many traditions is associated with endings, closure, transformation, spiritual growth — a time to tie up loose ends. 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been checking off things that feel as much rituals as tasks: finishing the New York Times Top 100 Books of the Century (ask me my favorites), stomping grapes at Dear Native Grapes (a bucket list item for years), apple-picking (yeah), having surgery (boo) and celebrating Rosh Hashanah — sweet fruit, making amends, and gathering family and community. These seasonal markers are embedded in us all: new school years, harvest festivals, thinning daylight, preparing stores, both inner and outer.

Here is a bit about what is stirring this year, and some practices and meditations that may help us align our energy with this time of harvest, closure, and preparation.

Traditions & Meanings of the Equinox / Harvest Time

Here are some traditions, both ancient and modern, that echo this time of gathering, finishing, remembering, getting ready:

• Harvest festivals have been celebrated in many cultures around the world at or near the equinox. In Celtic-neopagan traditions, for example, the equinox is marked as Mabon, also called “Second Harvest,” a time for thanksgiving, sharing food, feasting on apples, squash, pumpkins, root vegetables, and balancing light and dark. 
• In Britain, the historical Harvest Home festival involved gathering the last of the crops, community feasting, and rituals around the last sheaf of grain (sometimes made into a corn doll), gratitude, and preservation.
• In Japan, there’s Autumnal Equinox Day (“Shūbun no Hi”) and the related Buddhist practice of Higan — a week around the equinox spent visiting ancestors’ graves, reflecting, and expressing gratitude.
• Latvian traditions like Miķeļi (also called Apjumības, Appļāvības) celebrate around the equinox as a harvest festival, with rituals to honour the fertility of the land, gathering the final grains, leaving a small bundle of cereal in the middle of the field (tied to the deity or spirit “Jumis”) to ensure fertility in the next season. 
• Myths like Persephone (Greece) touch on themes of the return to the underworld / dormancy and the ending of the growing season.

These traditions share certain threads: gratitude, gathering, harvesting literally and metaphorically; honoring ancestors or what came before; balance (day/night, light/dark); preparing, storing, preserving; letting go.

Also, one more fact: the Harvest Moon (the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox) historically was very important — its light allowed farmers to work late into the night to gather crops.

What I’m Feeling & What This Time Feels Like to Me

Here’s my own sense of this season:

• It’s not just about finishing tasks, but also about finishing energetically. There’s a sense of weaving together all the threads I’ve been pulling on — relationships, learning, reading, creative work — and letting them settle.
• There is sweetness in the fruit: literal apples, or grapes, or the books, or the moments of rest. There is also a soft grief: of what must end, of what must be left behind.
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• And there’s a deep readiness: for a new cycle, for stepping into the next version of my work. Launching my psychotherapy practice feels like a threshold, and I see this equinox + numerological 9 energy as a potent moment of threshold.

Practices, Meditations & Journal Prompts for This Time

As you, too, move through this season, here are some practices (rituals, meditations) and journal prompts that may help you regulate energy, harvest your year, and prepare for the coming winter (inner & outer).

Practices / Rituals

1. Harvest Feast / Sharing
   Invite friends or family to share a meal made from seasonal produce: apples, squash, root vegetables, preserved foods. Maybe have everyone bring something. Use the meal as a way to give thanks — not only for the food, but for the people, the lessons, and the labor of your year.

    

2. Last Sheaf Ritual
   If possible, find something symbolic as a “last sheaf” — a bunch of herbs or flowers, a bundle of greens, even the last apple. Hold it, give thanks, decide what you’ll store (literally or metaphorically), and choose something to release. You might make a corn-doll, or simply collect something natural and place it on an altar.
3. Ancestor / Gratitude Walk
   Walk outside (in a forest, orchard, neighborhood) gathering fallen leaves, apples, nuts, whatever you find. As you walk, silently or aloud, acknowledge what’s sustainable to keep and what must go. Optionally tie them together or bury them — offering to ancestors, or to earth, or simply releasing.
4. Reflection & Closure Ceremony
   Light a candle; make a list of what you have achieved, what you have learned, what you want to let go. Some people like burning a list or letting it go in water (writing and dissolving). Let it be ritual: with intention, with acknowledgment of both shadow and light.
5. Creating Intentions for Winter / Next Cycle
   After gathering and releasing, shift toward what you want to carry forward. What seeds do you want to plant metaphorically through winter (learning, relationships, writing, rest)? How will you prepare? What supports do you put in place (rest, structure, boundaries)? 

Meditations / Visualizations

• Balance of Light & Dark
  Visualization: imagine a scale. On one side, light (learning, growth, achievements), on the other side, dark (letting go, endings, rest). See them in perfect balance. Allow each side to speak.

   

• Harvesting the Field of Your Life
  Picture a field you’ve tended this year. Walk rows: some are fruitful, some need rest, some maybe overgrown with weeds. Harvest what’s ready, clear what must go, nourish what will rest, prepare soil (metaphorically) for what’s next.
• Number 9 Ceremony
  Because 2025 is a 9-year: reflect on what cycles are ending. Maybe design a ritual around the number 9: 9 breaths, 9 moments of gratitude, listing 9 things you wish to carry forward, 9 things to release.

Journal Prompts

• What chapters in my life feel like they are naturally concluding now?
• What have I harvested this year — skills, insights, relationships — that I want to remember and carry forward?
• What am I ready to release before the darker months, so I have more room (inner & outer)?
• Where in my life do I feel imbalance (too much doing, not enough being; too much reaching forward, not enough rest)?
• What seeds (projects, rest, relationships, learnings) do I want to plant this winter, that will blossom next spring?
• How do I want to regulate my energy as daylight shortens, temperature drops, work deepens?
• What amends (to self/others) feel right now, so I don’t carry them like weight into my new beginning?

Holding the Threshold

As the equinox arrives, I feel the threshold: the things I want to finish, the sweetness I want to savor, the ones I may need to let go. Launching a practice, stepping into this new professional chapter, I feel the earth beneath me shifting from abundant burst to slower, essential, deep.

If you’re reading this, whatever your story is, I hope you can use this moment — the balance of light and dark, the numerology of 2025, the harvests around you — to finish with clarity, to rest with peace, to enter the coming season with intention.

What happens when love isn’t enough to keep a family together?

In my recent Beyond Trauma podcast episode with renowned psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman, we explored one of the most painful and complex experiences a parent can face: estrangement from an adult child.

With rising rates of adult child-parent cutoffs, more families are silently struggling with shame, confusion, and heartbreak. And while every situation is unique, the good news is this: understanding the underlying dynamics of estrangement can pave the way for insight, healing, and in some cases—reconnection.

A Changing Family Landscape

Dr. Coleman notes that today’s ideals around family are vastly different from those of previous generations. In the past, parent-child bonds were maintained out of duty, tradition, and societal pressure. Now, adult children are more likely to value relationships that support their emotional well-being—even if that means stepping away from family ties that feel harmful or invalidating.

Estrangement may stem from:

• Unhealed childhood trauma
• Emotional neglect or criticism
• Lack of boundaries or respect for autonomy
• Parental divorce or favoritism
• Unaddressed mental health struggles
  You can read more about the growing trend of estrangement in this article in The New Yorker. 

When Therapy Leads to Estrangement

Surprisingly, even therapy can contribute to estrangement—especially when adult children begin identifying harmful patterns from childhood. Dr. Coleman cautions clinicians to be mindful not to pathologize parents or reinforce a victim-only narrative. Therapy should empower clients to set boundaries and develop tools for dialogue and repair.

Learn more about this delicate balance from Psychology Today’s coverage of family estrangement.

What Parents Can (and Can’t) Do

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but Dr. Coleman offers some deeply compassionate and practical advice:

• Respect boundaries even if they feel hurtful or confusing.
• Avoid defensiveness. It’s hard, but necessary.
• Apologize without conditions. Owning past missteps without minimizing them is crucial.
• Write an amends letter. Dr. Coleman suggests a carefully crafted letter over a call, as it gives the child space to process without pressure.

For guidance, his book Rules of Estrangement is a must-read.

The Power of a Well-Written Amends Letter

So much can be triggered in a clumsy or poorly timed apology. Dr. Coleman stresses the importance of avoiding blame-shifting, over-explaining, or “trauma-dumping.” Instead, focus on the impact of your actions, not your intentions.

He explains more about this process in this TEDx talk that explores the psychology of reconciliation.

After Reconnection: What Comes Next?

Reconnection doesn’t mean everything returns to the way it was. It’s a new phase of the relationship that must be navigated slowly and with humility.

That often includes:

• New boundaries
• A changed dynamic
• Grieving old expectations
• Continuing personal growth and accountability

For some, full reconciliation may never come—and that’s part of the process too. Healing doesn’t require that the relationship be restored; sometimes, it’s about making peace internally.

Final Thoughts

Dr. Coleman’s message is clear: parents must do the hard, internal work of acknowledging how their behaviors affected their children. That doesn’t mean they’re “bad” people—it means they’re human. And in owning that humanness, we open the door to possibility, healing, and deeper connection.

If you’re navigating estrangement or want to understand how to prevent it in your family, I highly recommend listening to the full Beyond Trauma episode, available wherever you stream podcasts.

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