by Lara Land | Nov 28, 2022 | BOOKS, COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, LARA LAND, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Many of you have likely heard about trauma sensitive yoga by now. You may even have read books on it such as The Body Keeps the Score, Waking the Tiger, and Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. Perhaps you’ve pre-ordered my book, The Essential Guide to Trauma Sensitive Yoga. I hope you have. Yoga for trauma studies are getting more and more popular and more information is getting out there during this time when more folks than ever are identifying as having survived trauma or traumatic stress.
This is a change from the earliest studies we had which were largely from veterans. Most of the earliest trauma sensitive yoga programs were for veterans diagnosed with PTSD. Those programs proved again and again the power of trauma sensitive yoga to reverse the impacts of trauma, restore the nervous system and give folks a chance to change their response to traumatic stress.
No one knows that better than the next guest of the Beyond Trauma Podcast. Pamela Stokes Eggleston has been sharing yoga years with Veterans suffering from PTSD or traumatic stress and their families. She was inspired to focus on this demographic after her own husband returned injured from service and she needed to learn how to live with that. The vicarious trauma she experienced from living with someone with PTSD also had to be addressed. Pam was able to address it with yoga and yoga related practices and one thing she was especially able to treat is sleep. This is deeply important because sleep is always disturbed with trauma and sleep disturbance makes the impacts of trauma more severe.
Take a listen to Pam on the Beyond Trauma Podcast to learn more about yoga for veterans and how she is improving their sleep and hers with some special practices.
If this resonates with you, you may want to consider a trauma sensitive yoga training. I’m offering both an online trauma sensitive yoga training (this weekend) and in many person trainings in the coming year including the weekend of June 30th at Kripalu in Massachusetts (which will be listed next week) and the weekend of August 18th at Miami Life Center, in Florida. More to be listed soon!
by Lara Land | Nov 21, 2022 | BOOKS, COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, LARA LAND, Self Improvement, SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Much has been written about morning rituals and morning routines and for good reason. How we start the day informs the rest of the day. It is so deeply important. So much so, that even if I’m exhausted I will try my absolute best to get up before my daughter and husband to have even a few minutes to collect myself, give thanks, and get clear about my day.
Do not sleep on these moments!
I used to do a full Ashtanga Yoga practice as my morning ritual, a routine that lasted almost two hours with set up and break down. A combination of motherhood, covid, and revelations about the Ashtanga yoga founder changed that. Covid specifically caused me and many yoga practitioners and teachers I know to question and reconfigure our practices. What is the right morning practice and when is the time to change it? These are not easy questions by any means. They require thought as does anything we put our time and focus to.
Discipline is important as is sticking to a practice.
Yoga can teach us about discipline. Discipline is an important part of our evolution and can teach us about false perceptions of our limits and the heights we can reach. It can also be destructive when it pushes us too far and causes us to distrust important messages from our bodies. When is the time to give up on a practice that’s been beneficial? That’s a question only you can answer, but I’ll give you some hints to look for.
It may be time to switch up your practice if:
- Your life has had a dramatic shift.
- You’ve tried adapting it and you still don’t feel you are growing.
- You are clear that it isn’t for lack of discipline or an inner block around something in your practice you don’t want to face.
If you have changed some small things but even that won’t do it. Maybe you need a bigger change in your morning routine or yoga practice.
The essential question to ask yourself is what you are hoping to gain from your practice.
There are many different reasons folks practice yoga or other centering morning rituals. Ideas of why you may be practicing include: comfort, stress relief, connection to something bigger, the doctor said so, stretching, peace, creativity, evolution, inner knowledge, prayer, awakening, excellence, better at the job, nicer human, healthier, stronger, focused, etc
Different rituals provide different results so first decide what you are practicing for. From there you can figure out if you need meditation, yoga asana, pranayama, journaling, silence and stillness, stretching, prayer, nature, cold shower, morning pages, or other practices. You may need ten minutes or two hours to get the results you wish. It all depends. Just keep in touch with something.
On the last episode of the Beyond Trauma podcast, Michelle Casandra Johnson and I talk about morning rituals and how these changing times are calling us towards new practices.
Take a listen HERE.
by Lara Land | Nov 14, 2022 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, LARA LAND, Self Improvement
As I’ve been interviewing folks for the Beyond Trauma Podcast, certain topics have come up again and again, reminding me that we are being called at this time to work with them. They leave something to be explored. Grief is one of those very present topics today. Many of my guests have referenced the grieving process and each time it has struck me as an important and timely topic.
Have you been grieving lately?
Many people experienced a lot of loss in the last years, not just in terms of people, but of the life they were leading and the future they imagined. And yet, no time, support, or roadmap was given to hold that grief. Most were forced back to work, many clocking way more hours than pre-pandemic with no breaks between meetings or mindless commutes.
What happens when you lose a life you never got to live?
Folks in war zones and regions struck by climate disasters face this trauma daily. We’ve experience this trauma also as whole industries have been destroyed and neighborhoods uprooted. We need time to grieve what was lost, our old restaurants, neighbors. So much has changed.
How much time and resources are given to folks to be in the grieving process is not the same for everyone. We favor minimizing the impact of our losses in favor of maximizing production, especially when losses occur in marganalized communities. If a person lost is not a family member why can’t the grief be just as bad? It can, but we don’t make room for it.
Many of us are afraid to feel. We worry that opening the space for sadness would leave us overcome and nonfunctional. Instead we armor up and become cold and cruel. We don’t know ourselves and each other because what we won’t look at in our own bodies we will not allow another.
There’s another way. Being together in our sadness is powerful and necessary. It’s not easy, but it’s the most healing and transformative work we can do. Now is the time to check into your grief and see what it wants to be telling you. Here’s one way to do it:
Find a quiet place and some stillness. Place both hands on your heart and let the muscles of your chest soften. Allow any realizations to come. Notice if you want to clench up, move away or distract yourself and instead return to the feelings. Stay for ten minutes in quiet and then journal anything you discovered.
This week on the Beyond Trauma Podcast, Michelle Casandra Johnson and I discuss grief as well as a number of other timely topics related to traumatic stress. Take a listen HERE
by Lara Land | Jun 24, 2019 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LARA LAND, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, SPIRITUALITY, Yoga
If there is one secret I know about life it’s to show up for it. Even if you are not ready, unsure, and frightened as hell, you will always prosper in some way from showing up even if it’s to learn your lesson for next time. Growth will never come from hiding.
My commitment to showing up was the beginning of a major shift in my life, one which has continued to reveal ongoing benefits. One great thing about learning to show up is it gets easier and easier each time until you don’t have to think about it at all.
One day you realize that you are just naturally in the muddy mix of your life and you can’t believe there was a time you chose to stand on the sidelines.
Here are 3 simple ways to start showing up more in your life and gaining the immediate benefits of engagement:
- Say “yes”. Shonda Rhimes Book Year of Yes is a great one to read if you have a tendency to say no to things and want to make a shift. Forcing yourself to attend parties, meetings, and events is a real necessary and level one part of showing up. Start saying “yes” to invitations (even the challenging ones) or they’ll stop arriving. Risk being uncomfortable for the reward of being present.
- Quit the snarkiness. Snarkiness, sarcasm and judgement are ways of disengaging. They keep you outside the story. Drop them and get inside where the mess of life happens. That’s next level showing up. You’ll never be fully in your life if you’re always judging how others are living theirs. You will never understand the tough choices people make until you are busy making your own.
- Dissent. Showing up means bringing all of yourself, even if that means towing unpopular opinions. Share them and let yourself be known for all that you are. This is the highest level of showing up. It involves bringing all of yourself, even the dark, quirky, and strange parts into the room. When you can show up in this way and be accepted you know you are in the right circles. You’ve found your people and you’ve found you.
Which level of showing up are you and how could you level up your ability to show up this summer? What do you find the most difficult and most rewarding aspects of showing up? Take the time to reflect on how you are showing up in all aspects of your life and relationships. Share your stories in the comments below!
by Lara Land | Mar 6, 2019 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, LARA LAND, LECTURES, SELF-IMPROVEMENT
“I wish I had your discipline”
is something I hear so regularly it got me thinking. It’s said as if it is something I inherited from parental dna and not actually what it is, something I learned, nurtured, and refined. I want to answer, “You could” but it’s always clapped back with “I’ve tried” “I just don’t have it”. That defeatist attitude finally drove me to write this blog and lay out once and for all how you too can grow your discipline to equal or even beyond mine.
10 Simple Steps to Becoming More Disciplined Today:
- Break down each task/goal. Avoid overwhelmment by making a list of what you want to achieve and breaking down each task/goal into its smallest components. Commit to which tasks you can do in a given time period and put each one in your calendar treating them as any other important appointment. Consider that things will almost always take longer than planned and build in lots of room for set backs so when those obstacles happen they are already accounted for.
- Shut down distractions. Multi tasking is so 2010. 2019 is all about putting full focus into one thing at a time and refusing to allow any distractions in. Before you sit down to work on any item on your to do list, make sure you are ready to be fully present. Shut off ringers and close open tabs especially but not only those related to social media. Refuse to be reactionary. You do not have to respond to calls/texts/emails every minute. They will be there when you emerge from your task.
- Set a timer. One of the best ways to train discipline is to set a time frame for working on one task or project and commit to staying on task until that time is up. This may feel really uncomfortable and challenging at first but this will pass as you train yourself to stay with tasks through the urges to run. You will build a unique and powerful inner strength and discover how much you can accomplish when you refuse to dilute your focus.
- Take the questioning out of it. Decide in advance that once you create your plan of action, it can not be negotiated after. Know that there will be voices in your head suggesting otherwise and be prepared to actively ignore them. This will become easier with time as those voices tend to back down when they are not attended to. When you are very advanced at discipline you may be able to adjust your schedule/make acceptions after creating it, but in the beginning when you are building self discipline you should not allow for any alterations or rationalizations for why something can not be done.
- Do not wait for inspiration or to feel like it. It’s a dangerous myth that one has to be inspired or moved to get work done. Have a day you’re not feeling into it? Do the work anyway. That’s the pro level. Everyone thinks inspiration leads to action but few realise the greater truth that action leads to inspiration. That’s your edge.
- Re-write your why every day. In the My Bliss Book planner there is a place to do this on every page. Remembering your big picture and why you started and keeping that vision clear and present each day is going to make taking all the actions you need to take to get there so much easier.
- Think long term. Train your mind to visualize the long term payoffs of discipline. See clearly where you will be when it all comes together. Draw it. Write about it. Put it up on your wall if that helps. Make a commitment to choose this reward over and over again against immediate pleasures and gratification. Prepare for temptation by practicing seeing yourself resist temptations that have diverted you in the past. Rehearse in your mind exactly how you will respond moving forward.
- Remember that you are an adult. The train has left the station and the time to get it right is running out. Take responsibility for your actions, lack of action, mistakes, and setbacks. Refuse to blame others when you fall behind. Grab hold of your life the future you desire.
- Award good behavior. Celebrate all successes, even the small ones. Award yourself with anything you want except by giving yourself slack when it comes to discipline or by allowing bad habits. Buy yourself a treat. Congratulate yourself verbally, in a journal, to friends and family. Bask in the richly rewarding feeling of getting things done. You will call upon and remember that feeling in the future when you have doubts and it will fuel your continued growth in self discipline
- Get support. Don’t try to do it alone. Find a friend or an accountability buddy that will help you to stay on track by checking in on you each week. Choose that tough love friend who doesn’t let you get away with lying to or shorting yourself. Just telling another person your goals will provide you with that extra pressure to come through.
Do you relate to any of these tips? Tell me which ones you’ll be using in the comments below and share you have other self-discipline techniques that have helped you.
by Lara Land | Feb 13, 2019 | COACHING, COMMUNITY, LAND BLOG, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
What is love?
Living in New York City the signs of love can get very confusing. In a city of driven creative workaholics whose first question is “what do you do?” evaluation of and compatibility with others tends to be transactional (even though we often don’t see it that way).
When I was looking for love I did the typical smart NYC girl thing and downloaded a stream of podcasts and blogs soaking up their find love fast advice. There were two common yet somewhat troubling recommendations across all of them:
- Find self love first.
- Make a list of what you want in a partner.
Everyone says to focus on self-love. In fact to this day when I post any advice on finding love, I inevitably get a comment about how I should be guiding people to find self love and not a partner. But why can’t you put some efforts into finding a loving partner if that’s what you want? You can!
Of course self-love is important, but we mustn’t act like it’s a switch you turn on or a thing you find (and never lose) which makes finding partner love instantaneous. Self-love is an ongoing process and contrary to popular belief, a good deal of that process can be done in the throws of a good healthy relationship.
It’s also valuable to note (in this age of social ME-dia) what self-love is not. Self-love is not selfishness, self-promotion, self-indulgence, or self-centeredness. It’s quiet and consistent and occurs side-by-side love of family, community, and cosmos.
Making a list of what we want and don’t want in a partner has some unexpected downfalls. The pros are obvious. Putting down what we want out of life is a helpful practice, but it can also be constricting and detrimental if we are even the tiniest bit confused or misled about what we should be asking for. And we always are. The problem is we feel SO clear when we write these things down. We don’t even know we are limiting ourselves unnecessarily and often asking for qualities we think we want/need, not the ones that will actually make us the most happy.
So.. how do we find love?
- Get out of your own way. Self-sabotage is perhaps the single most common reason so many of us are not in a loving partnership. We say we want love but we push away or destroy any viable opportunity. By creating unearned doubt and getting ahead of ourselves we end things before they even begin. We do this for many reasons, including fear of getting close, our addiction to our story of being alone, and our suspicion of the unknown. Combat this habit by practicing the yoga technique of staying present. Go day by day and keep showing up in gracious curiosity for yourself and for your potential partner, being with any doubts and peculiar feelings which arise. Give yourself and the person you are dating a chance before throwing it all out because of a fear of living with an attribute not on your list!
- Say no. Say no to old habits, place savers, actions and activities which are covering for or filling the space of what you desire. If you really want love you’ll need to recognize what you’ve been doing that hasn’t been working and start shifting those patterns. You’ll need to allow yourself loneliness, quietness, boredom, and sometimes uncomfortable, unfilled time. Say no to anything which numbs how you feel and those things that provide only temporary relief. Instead keep your heart open and even broken for signs of the real thing.
- Take risks. Date someone different. Go somewhere different. Expand your experiences and expectations. Question your key attribute list. Become what you desire so you don’t need someone else to be that and can allow for a partner who might be different. Stay open to new dynamics. Be less sure and more curious. Look into any idealized notions of love and partnerships and throw them all away. Get ready to be surprised.
- Stick with it. Timing is a funny thing and we are not always ready just when we think we are. That’s a good thing. The extra time with ourselves is something we can look back later on and recognize as a true gift. Just because a love match is taking longer to manifest than you expected, doesn’t mean it won’t happen. It just hasn’t happened yet. Recall other times when things came to you suddenly, delayed, or seemingly accidentally and take comfort in the knowledge that we are not in charge. All we can do is set the stage and be ready to accept love when it appears.
For more detailed counseling on finding and maintaining true love relationships consider private coaching where we can get into your specific blocks and patterns and help you take actionable steps in the direction of love.
Recent Comments